This is something I wrote whilst in Europe this summer. I don't remember my reasoning behind writing it ... it falls somewhere between the categories of "journal entry" and "high school creative writing assignment." Enjoy.
Feeling as though I am too far from home absolutely terrifiies to me. You are probably wondering what exactly qualifies as "too far"...well, most any place that would take me more than four hours to drive home. Italy and Ireland fall into the "too far" category...not too far in general, just too far for me to venture off to without a chaperone. The Philippines would have fallen into this category also, but because I was not in charge of that trip it was completely different. Everyday was, more or less, planned out, and I was simply told what to do. I mindlessly followed my leader's commands and it was marvelous. This trip to Europe has looked very different. I booked everything and handled most of the details (...we all should have known this was a bad idea). Over the last set of two weeks traveling abroad, so many things have gone wrong that now I'm surprised when things actually go right. For your entertainment I'll list off a couple of my worst mistakes:
- The DAY we were to arrive in Europe, I realized that I booked that night's hotel for JUNE instead of July. I was a whole month off. What?! (no refund)
- I booked a flight for the wrong time and we had to spend the night in the Dublin airport before leaving for Italy the next day. (no refund)
- I booked us plane tickets from Ireland to Italy through RyanAir -- an airline that doesn't allow you to check luggage that weighs more than a pair of shoes. Our two huge rolly suitcases didn't make the cut, and I paid the consequences. Literally.
Needless to say, I lost it a couple of times over the trip. More of the breakdowns took place on the inside than on the outside, but the ones on the outside were handled with excellent form by Rachael Lynne Mirabella.
Being so far from home has been hard. There isn't someone older, more qualified constantly watching out for you/over you. You make mistakes and you reap the consequences (and whoever you're with reaps them too)..It's scary. It is humbling to admit, but I am not an adult yet. I was reminded of this both times I talked to my parents over the fifteen day trip. I hung up the phone and bawled.. because I didn't feel safe. Home is safe, not sketchy airports at 4:30 in the morning. "Home" means my father is one call away, and thus, I am one call away from being saved. Over here, 5,000 miles from home, I feel like I am just out of safety's reach. Why? I know that I am never out of Safety's reach. When will that sink in?
Reading this made me sad at first. I didn't like to think of you not enjoying your European vacation because of the pressure or fear you experienced. Then I felt proud of you, my girl. I've always admired your sense of adventure and your can-do attitude. I mean, how many teenagers have the confidence to travel around New York alone? So, OK, you felt scared on this trip abroad. All the costly mishaps you mentioned are real life experiences that “A” – caused you to truly appreciate the way your dad takes care of the family when we travel so it seems effortless to us; and “B” – helped you learn valuable lessons that will help you plan better for future travels. Inconvenient? Certainly. Scary? Yes. Failures? No way! Actually, the awful night on the floor in an Irish airport added spice to the telling of your story.
ReplyDeleteFear can be a good thing. It helps you slow down and re-evaluate to see if there is danger. If common sense, wise counsel and prayer don't yell STOP! then you have the freedom to face your fear and press the boundaries of your comfort zone. So many people never experience vibrant life because of their fears. I LOVE how you carpe diem! -- even when you are sometimes fearful. Even if you sometimes fail. Seeing yourself survive a fearful situation makes you stronger. Kind of like how a bone grows stronger at the point of a healed break. Feeling fearful doesn’t mean you are not an adult. Persevering through those fearful situations to favorable outcomes (even at a cost) is VERY adult behavior. Indeed, you are the bravest young adult I have ever known, and I am so very proud of you.
Momsie